#which is like. everyone is drunk

[invinciblerodent]

on a lighter note than most of today, I've kinda been amusing myself by thinking about which companion would be the best dancer, because there's definitely a case to be made for pretty much everyone

so far my thinking is that

- if it involves improvisation OR done as a Display, it's Wyll (incredible CHA and performance)

- if there's someone around to copy and/or one-up, it's Astarion (absurd DEX and acrobatics)

- if it's a slow number that doesn't involve a lot of moving around but DOES involve prolonged, intense eye contact, it's Gale (need I say it, he has proficiency in romance)

- if it's done in some tavern/at some party, with a crowd that's like one spilled beer from a bar fight, AND the goal is essentially to have loud, wild fun while feeling each other up, it's Karlach

but sound off

[gayness-and-mayhem]

Father Mulcahy being a spin the bottle champion is something that's so important to me actually.

[satellitesunset]

I attribute the belief (that's mostly present on tiktok) that the story a song tells must be solely rooted in nonfictional events that occurrd to the songwriter to taylor swift. it's not only abt her strictly autobiographical approach (it's natural for your art to be derived from personal experience). but rather the the culture (that she created !); from speculations to who they're abt to. to attempting to work them into the story/timeline she constructed. that is det​ri​men​tal to music (and on a larger scale literature) analysis. it convinced most that is the norm and every record must be 100% based on a true experience.

[carlyraejepsans]

i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A24

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: The Angel’s Identity

Characters: Toi, Netaro, Nagi, Daniel, Yodaka

Summary: The protagonist is surrounded by the Night Team members, who are completely drunk. Meanwhile,Toi shows off his surprising drinking skills and entertaining the customers around him.

Thank you aca @/463ce6, myun @/myuntachis Niri @/Niri_riri and jes @/arcanecrayonn for helping me with proofing!

Netaro: I ammm learning SHO much about the human race… 

Location: Hakodate Daimon Yokocho Izakaya

Netaro: Like this famoush fellow, Skurin Dadastar discovered a SNAIL on the back of a human cranium— 

Momiji: Okay, that’s kinda gross, so let’s stop right there…

Momiji: Mama, could I get— Wait, you can choose between raw or fried scallops!?

Momiji: Ohh, how do I pick… They both look so delicious…!

Ryui: (Are they for fucking real– They’ve been stuffing themselves for three whole hours! When are they gonna fuck off already…!)

Netaro: Listen to meeeeee~~~!

Momiji: I’ll listen! But nothing that makes me want to puke, okay? 

Yodaka: Why would you stop him? I find his topics to be very intriguing, I would love nothing more than to hear the continuation, indeed. 

Momiji: …So you’re drunk too, Yodaka-san. There’s something just a little off about your speech… 

Yodaka: Do you think so? If one does not understand themselves, they night… oh?

Netaro: Ahaha! So Youda can also get a little kooky! I think my head is light and spinny… *drool* 

Yodaka: Youda… When it comes to making nicknames, you’re the champion. 

Nagi: By the way, Chief, are you listening to my story? 

Momiji: Oh, yes… 

Momiji: Something about how you keep finding one sock of a pair at the laundromat? 

Nagi: Yeah. So, normally people tie a pair of socks together and put them away, but that’s usually when you’re arranging your clothes in the closet. So I guess it makes sense for the pair to be separated when you put them in the wash. 

Nagi: But there’s no way you can survive with only one pair of socks, so I’ll tell you this story - Once upon a time there was a woman who owned a pair of woolen socks, and a pair of lace socks. One cold winter evening, she decided to visit the laundromat and— 

Momiji: (Ah… Nagi-kun’s monologue is making me feel even more tipsy…)

Daniel: The gang’s turned into quite the sight to see. 

Daniel: I’ll just take my time and sip on mine… Mama, a refill please.

Toi: …Phew.

Drunkard A: You’ve been downing those drinks like water there, angel boy! Woulda never guessed that cute face of yours belonged to a heavy drinker!

Drunkard B: How many’s it been now? I think he’s finished off one-shō bottle!

Toi: Hah, as if I could be satisfied by a mere bottle of liqueur. 

Ryui: (That fucking bastard…)

Ryui: (Never gives a shit about Toi’s body, drinkin’ so fuckin’ much!)

Proprietress: It’s always been the case that the ones with the cute looks can hold their drinks… oh?

Proprietress: Where did the muddler that I was using go off to?

Toi: Look beside the basin. 

Proprietress: Huh? …Oh! It really is here.

Proprietress: Thank you for helping me. Oh dear, don’t tell me you were watching the whole time? 

Toi: Kuku… I need not bother with such trifles. Here is some proof: The phone will ring soon. 

*phone rings*

Proprietress: Oh! I-It really rang… 

Drunkard A: Ooh, that’s some interesting trick there angel boy!

Drunkard C: Precognition? Now that’d come in handy at parties! 

Toi: How bold of you to treat me as some jester at a banquet. You dare to consider my power as mere child’s play? 

Toi: Truly, so foolish that I cannot help but adore it.

Drunkard B: Huh~ Been meanin’ to ask, what’s up with the way you talk? It’s kinda impressive. Is that how all you folks from the mainland speak?

Toi: How about I use you for my next act? I will show you what it means when a human has their soul ripped from their bodies.

Drunkard C: Soul? Now you’re talking like some kinda devil! 

Daniel: Ah… Sorry about him. Please just smile and nod to whatever he says. 

Daniel: He’s at that age you see… 

Drunkard: Ohh I get it. ‘Tis the season to walk silently and all that… 

Drunkard B: Ain’t that nostalgic~ I’ve got my dark history all recorded in some diaries back at home too.

Toi: You, the big oaf. What do you mean by “at that age?”

Daniel: Well, ya see… What I mean is… 

Daniel: Oi, is it okay for me to tell it straight to his face? What if he cries on me? 

Yodaka: In that case, I’ll take responsibility and marry you for life… or treat you to a bottle?

Netaro: Toiiii~ No, ‘nother Toi! It’s been a while since I last saw you!

Netaro: I am very much interested in you! Let’s be fwendsss~

Toi: I refuse. I am only fond of humans. 

Nagi: !

Netaro: Bwahaha! Shoooo interesting~!

Drunkard A: No helpin’ it, this old man will bite the bullet. Ye see kid, you’ve got a disease. It’s called 8th grade syndrome. 

Drunkard B: Yeah, it’s like a cold you catch while going through puberty.

Elderly Lady: Everyone has a dark history like that, young boy. That’s how you grow up.

Toi: Hah! So now it’s a disease?

Toi: To see you scramble so as to make sense of what you can’t understand is so pitiful that it brings a tear to my eye. Truly, such a frivolous thought process can only be accomplished by you humans. 

Daniel: Toi’s really doubling down on that stuff, huh.

Toi: I shall explain in a way even you fools should be able to comprehend.

Toi: I am the angel that will bring salvation to you humans. You may call me “Oshisha-sama.”

Netaro: …An angel? 

Momiji: Oshisha-sama? 

Toi: Well, I have been called by another name as well.

Toi: Such as “Astaroth.”

*Everyone pauses*

Nagi: …Got it. So that’s what he’s going with. 

Momiji: It’s very impressively detailed. Your second name is really cool!

Netaro: Angel… Along with “lonely,” this ish yet another concept that I fail to comprehend. Amaaaazing! Earth is so fascinating~ And EXCITING! 

Yodaka: Angel… Hope… Salvation… Hydrogen… Salt… Spring rolls… Shark fin… Wok… 

Daniel: Aight, I think you oughta pipe down, yer just makin’ this more confusing. 

Yodaka: Spatula… 

Momiji: Hahaha! 

Netaro: Toi, ToiToi. From the moment I met youuu, I could sense you were a supernatural being that has power faaaar beyond that of a human! 

Netaro: Aaaand THAT’S why I’m soooo interested in you! Everything in this universe, aaaall of creation, must be explainable by science or logic. Otherwise, it is NOTHING! 

Netaro: Such is the way of my planet, and SO! You, an aaaangel, must be taken apart piece by piece and factorized so that I may verify your existence! 

Toi: …… 

Nagi: Ah, that’s just his setting, yeah… 

Momiji: Huh, so Netaro-kun’s setting is that he’s come from space? 

Netaro: Yup! 

Momiji: Then maybe I’ll go with being an underground dweller! If possible, I’d like to be a God of Travel or something… 

Yodaka: Then… I shall be a police officer conducting an undercover investigation. 

Yodaka: Or perhaps a spy who is after state secrets might be fun too.

Nagi: I’ll, uh, go for something safe, like a flower fairy.

Yodaka: Hm, but perhaps you should try picking something a little more absurd. Maybe then you could relate to being at “that age” too… 

Nagi: Oh, you’ve got a point… Hm… 

Daniel: C’mon, why’re you bustin’ yer balls over this crap? Just come up with somethin’ on the fly.

Daniel: Like, you survived a nuclear fusion, or you woke up from a cold sleep, or that you have a zipper on your back, or some bull like that. 

Netaro: Have aaaany of you tried dancing on top of space debris? You can’t help but get addicted once you try it oooout! 

Daniel: Yeah, exactly. Just keep it light like that debris or whatever stuff he was goin’ on about.

Nagi: …I gotta go to the bathroom. 

Momiji: Ok, be safe outside! 

Yodaka: I’m actually an office lady who used to get a measly salary but was reincarnated into another world, and due to circumstances beyond my control I’ve become a serial killer after being hit over the head with a spatula one night— 

Daniel: Hahaha! Damn, you’re getting good at this! 

Netaro: What surprised me moooost was the concept of male and female on this planet… 

Momiji: Hmm, for underground dwellers, it’d be the sun, right? I bet they’d cry after seeing the sun for the first time! 

Daniel: I’d go with medical development.

Netaro: Hey hey, tell me, do angels have the concept of male and female too? 

Toi: …… 

Netaro: Tell meeee, what’s the definition of an angel? 

Toi: …… 

Netaro: Tell me tell me tell ME! Can angels die? 

Toi: …… 

Momiji: Netaro, maybe he hasn’t developed his setting that far yet, so try to dial back the questions… 

Netaro: Are you really an angel? 

Toi: ……Kukuku.

Toi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Netaro: Woahhh.

Momiji: T-Toi-kun? 

Daniel: Dumbass, bein’ so loud will bother the others! 

Toi: …I was entertained for a fleeting moment, but now I tire of your rubbish. 

Toi: Rejoice. I shall show you the real thing. 

Location: Hakodate - Daimon Yokocho

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (The moon sure is beautiful.)

Nagi: (...Has there ever been a night like this before, where I didn’t feel lonely?)

Nagi: (I have friends who’ll keep me company through the night now, along with good food and alcohol. I feel happy.)

Nagi: (So, this is what you call a trip… It’s amazing. I want to stay in this moment for as long as I can.) 

Nagi: (I should probably give the Chief some flowers while I have the chance. It’s a good thing I packed some in my bag, then—)

*rumbling*

Nagi: Huh…?

Nagi: (What’s this sound? It started so suddenly… Like it’s coming from the very depths of the earth…)

*ground shakes*

Nagi: W-Wha… Is this an earthquake?

Notes:

shō is a traditional unit of volume, approx. 1.8 litres

Yodaka makes a pun saying he'd take responsibilty and marry Daniel for life 一緒 (issho) or for a bottle 一升 (issho)

Astaroth, in demonology, is known to be the Great Duke of Hell.

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Masterlist

[julykings]

lost boys @ the bar

[unawakening-float07]

i had one beer with one of my closest friends and my bf while we watched a country singer preform at a biker bar and it has been the greatest night of my life

[sandpapersnowman]

I had been worried that cutting my dad off and distancing myself from him would put me in a difficult position with his side of the family but I've actually reconnected with a couple family members over how shitty he's been and it turns out I'm not the first one to stop talking to him, he's been blocked by like two of my aunts And my cousin

[evilkitten3]

i know almost nothing about naruto but i love that orochimaru is the most genderfucked out of any fictional character ive ever heard of. what an icon tbh

orochimaru has committed unthinkable atrocities but i simply do not care. in fact i think she should have done some more

[dramas-vs-novels]

Did you *really* go to college if you didn't do this at least twice a semester?

[astrobei]

me and abby are drunk together and we are at a drag show this is the best night of my life

[senseiwu]

Does it piss anyone else off that barely anyone holds garmadon accountable for his actions and then they give people crap for being upset with him after he's hurt them

[somethingsomethingcomic]

beware my wine rants

[self-shipper-snowdrop]

would you be willing to drop your key to vector sigma rant? i'm curious about your thoughts. personally i get both the in universe and out of universe reasons why op gave the key to jack but ngl it always kinda annoyed me. i do actually like him but at the same time i think he's the least interesting character they could've picked for that job

OHOHOHOHO PREPARE FOR THE RANT OF THE CENTURY BABEY I HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS;;;; I apologize in advance for the length of this complete disaster hjbvfbhjfdvbhjvfdbhjvdfjbhvdfbhjvdfbjhfvbjhdvf

I will also admit in advance I'm very Miko-biased, I absolutely ADORE Miko, she's my bestie in my soul and I've always loved her. So this will be super Miko-biased and not very organized. It's more word vomit I'm sorry bhjvfhbvfbhjdvfbj

Miko deserved the key because, full fucking stop, she had the most character development of any of the humans in S1. Full stop. Jack did NOT have as much development as Miko did in comparison to the amount of screentime, and also he HESITATES. CONSTANTLY.

In the first episodes that we see of the kids, Miko's all in, to her own detriment. She doesn't take seriously the amount of danger she's in because she's so excited to be part of something fun for once. She said that she's spent her entire childhood being "the perfect kid". Perfect grades, piano lessons, extracurriculars, etc. Girl was neck deep in her parent's expectations- she tells this to Jack when she talks about why she came to Jasper in the first episodes [and jokes that the brochure lied]. When she's persuading him to come back, by the by, when SHE never left even in the face of danger.

Miko does consistently go into danger, yeah, but she also develops from that AND show's she's willing to be brave and take risks. She's the reason they get the picture of the equations on the Nemesis when they get on it in the start of the series, and she NEVER backs down from it. She's the only one of the humans willing to face it, head-on, and try and figure out their problems. She's also the one that is the most willing to come and help- even asking what she can do in early episodes not just so she can be there and see cool things, but so she can actually contribute to them.

Jack, in those same early episodes, is turning away from everything. He tries to avoid the bots when they summon him to meet Optimus, he tries to leave once things get dicey in the first episodes, and he tries to stay out of most things. He handles things when he's forced into it most of the time, on top of Dumbass Teenage Boy Syndrome that makes me wanna slam my head into a wall repeatedly. His interactions with Sierra are indeed proper Teen Boy Behaviour and props to them for the writing but also I scream lmfao like BRO

But seriously. Jack isn't the one to usually dive in and help. Him getting the key was just because he's The Main Human Boy and it was the 2010s so. yeah. But he didn't change nearly as much as Miko did, he only started helping the bots because they became important to him- Miko was always willing to help no matter what, even before she had a deeper relationship with anyone. FFS, she was willing to fight off Soundwave's tentacle WITH AN AXE, and when that went sideways? JACK BLAMED HER FOR "GIVING IT AN AXE" WHEN SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE FIGHTING OFF SOUNDWAVE SO RAF COULD DO HIS THING. She also was COMPLETELY ready to fight off literal armed soldiers ON A MOVING TRAIN and even verbally warn them to back off.

Miko's also smart as fuck. We see that academically, she knows what's up in Deus Ex Machina, because the second she actually had to try she managed to talk to a security guard about her report on Greek history for LITERAL HOURS, and says she could repeat stuff that "she didn't know she knew". Miko also thinks on the fly on how to solve issues. When they saw the security camera in that episode? She right away took an upside-down pic to make it look like nothing was happening while they got the orb. Miko ALSO was willing to take point even when it meant security got her or that she was at risk of the Decepticons kidnapping her. She put HERSELF in the way of them getting to her friends instead. She also understands people, especially Bulkhead- like in Operation: Breakdown.

In that episode, not even OPTIMUS HIMSELF could convince Bulkhead to help them rescue Breakdown. Optimus even tried to spin it as "well, you know, he has a chance to change and also MECH sucks" which. You know. Doesn't work. She, instead, plays into what she KNOWS will convince Bulkhead- "no rescue, no rematch". And what happens? BULKHEAD SAVES BREAKDOWN. Without Miko, Breakdown would have literally died because Bulk wouldn't have gone to get him. SHE'S the reason MECH didn't get to do their full dissection and potentially go through their bastard plans even sooner than they could have!!! All because she knew Bulkhead wasn't buying the "he can change" route- instead, taking note of them being rivals, and urging him using what she KNEW would work. Miko's the entire reason he went at all.

You can also see that Jack is WAY too cautious compared to the others in Shadowzone. When Raf drops his glasses and says he can't see without them, Jack [like a dumbass] says they have to leave them because it's dangerous when, you know.... Raf needs to be able to see. Hard to see where you're going when you're functionally blind. But while he still insists [also not noting how Raf won't leave without them considering he's like, 12] what does Miko do? She dives out there, gets the glasses, and heads back like a BADASS and then they keep running away from Skyquake's reanimated corpse. She doesn't hesitate, she sees the problem and solves it so they can keep moving- instead of wasting time trying to convince Raf to run blind like Jack does.

He's also a dick to her at the end of the episode, as instead of... you know... being nice to her after they all survived A ZOMBIE ATTACK, he rubs in how she admits what she did was really reckless. When Miko is showing she's clearly willing to learn from her mistakes, he rubs it in like a jackass. Again- teen boy behaviour. But it DOES show immaturity, compared to Miko actually being really mature in that moment and showing she's willing to admit she shouldn't have done that. The bots also know how important it was to her to get pictures and apologize for it- so. You know. He could very easily not be a dick.

Jack also doesn't show he's any better than her with rushing into things [like charging into places] in Rock Bottom [which I just recently re-watched] where Miko runs into the mines and Jack acts like she's ~so stupid for it~ but what does he do?

HE FUCKIN LOOKS AT ARCEE LIKE 'uwu pwease can I go in also I'll be good owo' RIGHT AFTER INSULTING MIKO FOR WANTING TO CHECK IT OUT. So, hypocrisy.

Jack's only moment of having a "key moment" was when he refused to kill Megatron because "Optimus wouldn't, not like this" and he leaves. That's it. Meanwhile, Miko is willing to try and DIG OUT A WALL WITH HER BARE HANDS TO FREE BULKHEAD WHEN THEY'RE STUCK IN THERE. She's not willing to leave him, has to be convinced to bang a rock on his foot to make noise [because she doesn't want to hurt him]. Even when Starscream walks in and tries to fuckin grab her, Miko STILL REFUSES TO LEAVE BULKHEAD. She isn't willing to leave him behind, period, or ANYONE behind at all. She only barely agrees to leave with Jack with a LOT on persuading from Bulk, and she's crying when they do because she cares so much about him. The bond she's built with Bulkhead really shines in that episode, and it shows just how loyal she is to her loved ones. She would straight up rather be buried in rock with him rather than even consider abandoning him there.

So Miko is willing to admit when she fucks up, isn't a dick to others about it, knows how to read people and what they need to keep going, won't abandon her teammates, and is unflinchingly brave. She is a fighter through and through, more so than the other humans are. She doesn't have as much screentime as Jack, yet she STILL shows all these traits and shows character growth. Jack, meanwhile... well, he's still pretty boring. He doesn't change much. When he gets the key, it doesn't feel earned at all. It just feels like it was obligatory because he's The Main Human Boy™ and that's what Main Human Boys™ get.

But imagine if Miko got the key. It would be an acknowledgement of how she's helped and how she's always willing to as well. She never needs to be persuaded, she's never afraid to face danger- everything. It also would have been an epic chance for Jack's character as well, considering- again- he's got a few moments where he's kinda a dick to Miko.

If Miko got the key, it could seriously drill in the heavy feeling of responsibility. It would have been a GREAT addition to her arc, really able to emphasize that she has a ton of good traits and how with some refinement, she'd make an amazing leader. It also would have really defied expectations at the time and given Miko the spotlight she really deserved. There's a reason people like her! So Miko would have this great responsibility, Optimus would be openly acknowledging that she's great as she is [and doesn't have to be perfect, emphasizing how she is better off as herself rather than the perfection expected of her back at home] and it could further lead into Miko maturing even more.

Meanwhile, Jack NOT getting the key and instead knowing SHE got it could be a serious kick in the ass. He'd have to grapple with his feelings about that, confront how he responded to her and the times he'd belittled her attempts to help [ex; fighting off Soundwave with the axe] and such. He'd have to see and acknowledge her good traits [especially her incredible bravery] and how critical that's been to them. He'd have to acknowledge that she DOES help, and everyone would have to take her more seriously. Jack would have to step the fuck up and proactively choose to do more, meanwhile Miko- getting that responsibility- could learn to reel in her reckless tendencies and instead refine her bravery and leadership skills. It'd be better for them both as characters, and it also means Miko gets to go into space LIKE SHE FUCKING DESERVES.

Basically, Miko had so much going for her even with less screentime than Jack, meanwhile Jack didn't develop much at all and pretty much had to be yeeted into most situations- meanwhile Miko was proactive. Is she reckless at times? Yes, for sure, but this would have been the PERFECT way to help her curb that. Optimus telling her about this key, how important it is, and how she needs to guard it could really show how well Miko does under pressure... as she consistently has! It'd also feel pretty natural for Optimus to acknowledge her efforts and reward it, but Jack? It didn't feel like he earned it at all. Miko it would have felt earned and opened the doors to even MORE development for her, rather than Jack being more of the damn same.

Also. Again. Homegirl fucking rules. Even just from a simple standpoint, she's a far more interesting character and would have been more engaging for her to get the key [a less predictable outcome] instead of Jack [a very predictable outcome]. Especially when she has more consistently shown a willingness to face danger head-on, willingly, rather than handle it only when tossed into it like a sack of bleached potatoes. Miko would just have been SUCH a good choice, both for her personally and for everyone around her.

We also KNOW Miko can kick ass when she gets that armour later in the series, so on top of all the other epic stuff about homegirl, she is 1000% able to fuckin DESTROY the enemies if given the right tools. She has battle prowess.

Jack's just;;;; legit too cautious. He doesn't have the willingness to get in the weeds like Miko does, it's SO bullshit that he got the key. And Megatron's "I never forget a face" line is SUPER WASTED on him. Especially because, again, Miko gets that armour later. That line would have been SO much better with Miko, especially if she actually got to battle him in that armour later- because then he'd have a reason not to forget the human who's actually willing to stand against him. Because we ALL know she would.

[isdalinarhot]

Wonder how much my life would be different if I didn’t go to dragonsteel and didn’t get stomach flu and as such didn’t have a much lower tolerance for nausea and Bitter Taste that made drinking fast enough to get properly wasted untenable which led to many weeks in a row where the whole process of drinking was miserable every single day. Like would I still be getting drunk every night or would I have gotten fed up in mid December anyway. Because when I look back on my drunk posts and text messages from November the vast majority of days are either “I feel very take it or leave it about being drunk tonight like I don’t feel joy and I don’t feel [positive emotional side effects] and like I could literally have not drank today and been fine” or “I am actively miserable tonight and the alcohol isn’t helping/the only positive thing it’s doing is make it easier for me to bawl my eyes out” and also November/December is when I started getting labs back saying Your Body’s Fucked From The Drinking so maybe I would’ve gone this is not worth it anymore regardless

[shuckstruck]

pretty frustrated tho my mom didn’t put the cap on right (again) when she put thunders medicine in a box for me to take, so it leaked all over and now i have to spend another $60 refilling that when I was already super tight on money. And her dogs chewed up his syringes that I use to administer it. So I’m pretty annoyed. And she didn’t offer to pay for it either which is honestly just as frustrating so I had to ask her which is pretty humiliating.